pardon my language but oh my god... my mettatenna art is kinda going viral... this is so strange to me aaa...
i never expected it to do that good, i am so very thankful for all the support and the nice thinga people say about it! though... it bothers me a bit people are trying to put the pieces together, when the full version is already up in my social media and on tiktok as well!! go look for it! thank you everybody! <3<3<3

to be honest, this halloween was very bad. couldn't go out or even dress up or anything...
but at least i have debuted my new art in tiktok now. i hope people like it and doesn't get put off by the change of artstyle... i'm sure most of the followers i had loved gorillaz the same as i but, i also have many other interests... if youre here from tiktok, know that i will firstly be posting my art on tiktok and maybe some other time in my socials, im scared of people stealing my work :/

sometimes i wonder if putting a limit on to people in the way i do is too much.
i know i shouln't care that much about how the other person feels when it comes to putting on limits, but everytime i do i worry about the other person aswell.
i hate that i demean myself and treat myself like a monster for lashing out, when theres probably more reasons as to why i lashed out than 'just cause'. but i hate feeling aggressive, like a scared barking dog i just spit out a string of words like lava, hurtful and full of recentment. i can't avoid feeling like this, makes me highly question wether what i do is right or wrong. i want to believe i'm in control and what i'm doing is right, but i can't convince myself. what if i'm a terror? what if i'm abusive and horrible and no action i do makes sense, am i a victim or am i an abuser am i both am i none? i feel very odd today and i don't like spiraling like this, ever.

i don't even know how or why but my neck is weak and in pain. i was planning on visiting family but i'm not feeling too good.
I don't even have the energy to draw, which sucks a lot, i'm also trying to stay consistant whith this log, but not much has happened recently. nothing bad or great to even type about, i'm very contempt with life, so i guess today i'll just complaing about neck pain. (edit: turns out i did go and had a beautiful day with family <3)

internship is finally over!
the time for further developing our finals project is opun us. thankful that now i have more time to produce the art i always wanted to make too.

i think it's funny this number follows you bud, because since i met you it has followed me endlessly, a constant reminder of you. anyways, entry number 2; i've dedicated these days to draw in the way i always wanted instead of making fanarts in the style they're originally from. if any of you come from my tiktok account, you might know i like copying original styles from the fandoms i'm in. i like the original source so much that i feel it's a disrespect to try and make them in any other style that's not the original, but also, isn't it disrespectful to copy a style?... i don't know, as an animator i've had to learn to replicate any style... and previously when i attempted interpreting characters in my style they looked terrible... or too realistic?... i don't know how else to say it.
i've never been widely known as an artist, in any of my previous usernames and profiles. i can never reach that light at the end. fame isn't everything, but it's a big deal for an artist, wether i like it or not. i wish i had fame, not for what it is but for the stability it brings. i don't want to say much more than that.

welcome to my webpage everyone, feel free to read all about what i love/make. this webpage has just started to take form, there's not much to see for now... but i'm thankful for your visit regardless. <3