first of all, merry late christmas!! and happy new year!!! may all your wishes come true this year and let's try to build a brighter future for our respective communities and be kinder to ourselves and the people around us!!!
days ago i published my second ever made comic, the first one i ever made and puclished is lost to time to never be seen again AS IT SHOULD. it sucked... and i also posted celebrating reaching 1k on twitter! i had never reached 1k on twitter in any of my previous accounts, so i felt i needed to celebrate that!
in terms of how i've been doing, i'm feeling brighter and more possitive, all i want to do lately is draw, read and watch a series i was postponing.
i don't want to dwelve on it too much but. yeah, the twitter fiasco... at first i wanted to post everything as gifs, i was very defeated at the fact i just started to get a bit of popularity and something like that happened... after some thought and some days to make up my mind i decided, what the hell... as long as A.I still exists someone will find a way to use it, no matter how many meassures you try and put against it. in my head, the more you make your profile about being anti A.I the more A.I enthusiasts will come to your page and do things against your morals, principals and intellectual property out of spite. i think it's best to ignore it as much as possible for the time being, block people and pretend nothing's wrong, at least for the mental peace it brings. I rest well knowing that i own my work, i'm the sole creator of the work i make and i ultimately can make the decision to post it or delete it if i want to.
i just hope and pray none of those A.I bros get to my profile... or to any of my moots and oomfs...

i've been feeling super low on energy these days, i want to complete this comic on time for christmas but these months arw always really busy for me, mentally and physically, i hate this time of year. my birthday and my sister's is on the same day, we have different families so we have to celebrate like 3 days in a row, each day to gather around different people, christmas is comming up and then new years. so many people to see and i'm already agoraphobic in that aspect... i need a bit of a break...
i know that i'm technically on hiatus, but i just kinda keep working on a lot of stuff behind the scenes, work, personal stuff... this month is a mental turmoil and my energies are as low as ever. i've been overeating again...
it's kind of a low moment for me right now, i hope our birthday can cheer me up a little but i don't think i'm prepared to even celebrate, i'm so tired all the time...

i have finally come up with a new logo for my works! i had been trying for a few days with a lot of different versions and concepts until i finally came up with something meaningful and as unique as i could.
it was very important to me to make it look like a stamp, like something that wont be a distraction, something like it feels it belongs in the work i make instead of taking all the focus of the piece or tarnishing it.
i made it following my principals and elements that make enigma who enigma is. snake, thistle, moth, question mark and 3 3 3.
a sygil of sorts that represent me and protects my work. in the future i will be copyrighting most of my personal work since it's mostly things i have bing plans for in the future.

today i want to keep working on a story i have been building, i have everything ahead of me but i will start with what i can already envision. it has been a while since i wrote here i guess i let time go a little bit. i am still very thankful for everyone!
i can't wait to show the world my original creations, even if most wont like them. i have faith in myself <3 <3 <3
para los chilenos aqui, VOTEN POR JEANNETTE JARA!!! YA PASAMOS SEGUNDA VUELTA PODEMOS LOGRAR UN MEJOR CHILE!!!

i really feel blessed today!

a lot of people are liking my art now... it has taken many years and many tries to build a profile portfolio like this, i have gone through many names and made a lot of art, personal and fanarts but i have never reached popularity. i feel truly blessed to have what i have today and i am very thankful for everybody's comments, specially the funny ones lol!!!

after going through a depersonalization phase casued by a traumatic event in my life i decided to start anew one last time, and if it didn't work this time i would simply stop trying to build a following online and just stick to work (not that having a platform would change that!) i worked really hard on my style and on who i am as a person online and outside the net and when i finally began posting the work ive been holding on to, turns out everyone loved it!!! i am so incredibly happy!!!

it goes to show that as long as you focus on yourself, and no matter how long it takes good things will come your way, never give up!!! <3 <3 <3

aaaa i'm so happy people are liking my mettatenna art everywhere i post! i love it so much... sidenote, i also have a tumblr! i just haven't had the time for attaching it to my carrd oops... also i want to give some info about my posting times and how i usually post so that no one misses it:

i always post new art on tiktok firstly, after that i post to every other social media i have (twitter, instagram and tumblr) i didn't have this planned but i'm planning on posting at 1pm or 1am EST whenever i do so (for me it would be 3pm and 3am) i have no idea if anyone even reads my neocities page, its not like it has much to offer other than my thoughts but maybe this is helpful for someone out there!

i'm so so so so happy aaaaa!!!!!!1

pardon my language but oh my god... my mettatenna art is kinda going viral... this is so strange to me aaa...
i never expected it to do that good, i am so very thankful for all the support and the nice things people say about it! though... it bothers me a bit people are trying to put the pieces together, when the full version is already up in my social media and on tiktok as well!! go look for it! thank you everybody! <3<3<3

to be honest, this halloween was very bad. couldn't go out or even dress up or anything...
but at least i have debuted my new art in tiktok now. i hope people like it and doesn't get put off by the change of artstyle... i'm sure most of the followers i had loved gorillaz the same as i but, i also have many other interests... if youre here from tiktok, know that i will firstly be posting my art on tiktok and maybe some other time in my socials, im scared of people stealing my work :/

sometimes i wonder if putting a limit on to people in the way i do is too much.
i know i shouln't care that much about how the other person feels when it comes to putting on limits, but everytime i do i worry about the other person aswell.
i hate that i demean myself and treat myself like a monster for lashing out, when theres probably more reasons as to why i lashed out than 'just cause'. but i hate feeling aggressive, like a scared barking dog i just spit out a string of words like lava, hurtful and full of recentment. i can't avoid feeling like this, makes me highly question wether what i do is right or wrong. i want to believe i'm in control and what i'm doing is right, but i can't convince myself. what if i'm a terror? what if i'm abusive and horrible and no action i do makes sense, am i a victim or am i an abuser am i both am i none? i feel very odd today and i don't like spiraling like this, ever.

i don't even know how or why but my neck is weak and in pain. i was planning on visiting family but i'm not feeling too good.
I don't even have the energy to draw, which sucks a lot, i'm also trying to stay consistant whith this log, but not much has happened recently. nothing bad or great to even type about, i'm very contempt with life, so i guess today i'll just complaing about neck pain. (edit: turns out i did go and had a beautiful day with family <3)

internship is finally over!
the time for further developing our finals project is opun us. thankful that now i have more time to produce the art i always wanted to make too.

welcome to my webpage everyone, this serves as a public diary. this webpage has just started to take form, there's not much to see for now... but i'm thankful for your visit regardless. <3

i know, a public diary kind of defeats the purpose of a diary, no? well, yes, but i don't like keeping secrets about how i feel. "but you can just share your opinion on social media!" well, even though i can i like doing it here, those of you who care about me will be here to hear what i have to say, in any social media anyone can say anything! it kind of loses meaning... in my opinion. i like it here, it's private enough without it being too private!... i don't have social anxiety by any means, but i am afraid of often being misunderstood. this is a safe space for me to share what i think and what i'm going through at the moment <3 <3 <3